I wrote a list of the things I’m doing to get motivated this Monday morning:
1.) Shadowboxing in the bathroom mirror for 25 straight minutes screaming “LET”S DO THIS!”
2.) Styling my hair with a pocket knife to promote creativity and precision.
3.) Jumping on my bed shouting, “GET PSYCHED!” at the top of my lungs.
4.) Running down the street full sprint listening to Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll Pt. 2 Hey!” on iPod at max volume.
5.) Shouting at the bus driver.
6.) Not waiting for my coffee to cool down.
7.) Doing 50 pushups, 50 squat thrusts and 50 faceslaps.
8.) Calling tattoo parlors to price out a “Carpe Mother Effin’ Diem” full back tat.
9.) Telling a random dog in the office he “has no idea!”
10.) Smelling a flower on someone’s desk and then taking a hearty bite out of it.
11.) Slamming bathroom doors.
12.) Weeping uncontrollable tears of joy when Counting Crows “Mr. Jones” came on the radio.
13.) Using present participles.
